I Just Want to Say a Few Words...

I want to thank Nuwatts for getting the word out as quickly as he did about what happened.

In case you are not aware, I have been battling alongside my father for many years to try and overcome his health issues and we finally lost the battle on Jan 15th of this year.

On Monday of this week he was rushed to the hospital as he had been a million and one times before in my time on earth, and he was diagnosed with pneumonia. His heart and lungs were already working on less than a third of their operating capacity and he was finally told by his doctors that there was nothing more that could be done for him. We've had some home health care for about 6 months now, and they were going to be switching over to hospice care as soon as he got home. I spoke to him on the phone before he got home and we were helping him into the house when he got back. He collapsed on the last step up to our house's porch and ended up passing away before help could even get home.

I'm alot better than I was after everything happened...but this is going to take alot of time to heal. I may have bitched and moaned alot about my dad and how we never got along...-but he meant alot to me and I loved him with everything I am. As one of his friends said this week, "You love him so much you just want to strangle him sometimes." I can't say how long I might have to be on hiatus, but I will do my best to be back in two to three weeks time.

As for the acting group, you all need to do me a favor and get your shit together. This just proves that I cant always be there to hunt you down and force you to do what needs to be done. What I need and want from you guys is to take initiative and seek each other out. Find the people who haven't been to meetings and fill them in, whip them into shape, anything! There are members of the acting group who that deffinately does not apply to as far as getting your shit together, and you know who you are. That just means you need to help get everyone ELSE'S shit together. Helping each other is helping me.

I also want to thank Nuwatts, who has been my crutch here at DOD. You really are a sweetheart Watts, and you have been more than supportive of me in the past few months. I owe you alot.

Thank you for all the well wishes, everyone, and I'll be back soon. I promise.

-Helene.

I'm really sorry again to hear about this He's in a better place now, and I'm sure he's proud of you! Take all the time you need, I'd say.

mhm...

I know its hard to loose a loved one, but death is only an illusion... Its just a trick on the 5 senses... You cant see them, and that is why we cry… That’s why we are sad, because we expect to live a long life, and that will be a long life you cant share with that person… But just know they no longer feel pain, they no longer suffer… And in fact, if you are going to cry, cry for yourself… Cry for us, cry for the living… For we are the ones who have it bad… Your father has completed a trip we all must take… And when it is our time to do so as well, I know I will cry… I will cry tears of joy, and tears of sorrow for all the poor souls still stuck in this world… I know my words can bring no comfort, some wounds only time can heal… But just know that there will be a day when things get better, the sun will shine again, and there will be a day when you see your loved ones again… And just know you and your family are in our thoughts and we pray for you… And should you ever need us, your DoD family is here for you…

And yes, believe it or not I care about all you fucking dildos...

Helene, I'm so sorry.